Mind your Ps and Qs: Lizzie Post offers her views in Higher Etiquette as cannabis increasingly becomes part of everyday social interactions

The Emily Post brand is generally associated with good housekeeping, not clean rolling. So her great-great-granddaughter was not an obvious go-to for a book about weed. But as Lizzie Post explains, the expanding legalization of pot means “people end up interacting with it socially—whether they use it themselves or not.” And who better to guide us through the sticky situations that are bound to come up than a fifth-generation expert on manners?

In a recent phone interview from her home, the Vermont-based writer talks about Higher Etiquette, her guide to the world of cannabis, and why she thinks her country club should launch a marijuana-themed golf tournament.

We already navigate social situations involving intoxicants like alcohol. Is cannabis that different?

It is a different beast, and I do think that it needs to be respected as different.

One of my friends had a moment the other day where she was at a party and mentioned cannabis—and the host literally shushed her, because there were kids around. He said, “We don’t talk about that in front of the kids.” And she felt like that wasn’t fair. It is something that could be talked about anywhere, anytime, by anyone. I feel like moments like that will probably change.

What about cannabis faux pas?

It would be bad to just walk in someone’s house and light a joint without talking to the host about it first. That would be flat-out inconsiderate.

In a recent phone interview from her home, the Vermont-based writer talks about Higher Etiquette, her guide to the world of cannabis, and why she thinks her country club should launch a marijuana-themed golf tournament.

What else?

You never want to be disrespectful of someone’s choices. You can have debates about qualities of strains or growing styles or methods of use, but there’s no reason to put anyone down. You can explain what you find great about your preferences rather than telling someone, “No dude, you’re wrong.”

What’s your stance on tobacco in joints?

Don’t give it to someone without telling them that there’s tobacco in it! If you want to roll something that’s basically a cigarette with a hit of pot, or a joint with a hit of a cigarette, it’s fine. But I think you really need to ask first, especially if you’re going to be lighting it indoors, because it will have a stronger aroma.

What are some universals for cannabis etiquette to keep in mind?

It’s really good to let people know what it is that you’re offering them, and what the potential effects might be.

Be inclusive, especially if you’re the host. I think you really want to invite people to join in, even if they’re not going to participate in the cannabis—just come participate in the conversation.

You also really want to be communicative. Let your guests know the type of situation you’re inviting them over to, and what you’re expecting or hoping for from it. I think that is really, really important.

You have a great section on travel in the book. How does the patchwork of different state and provincial laws affect tourists?

It means that you really have to take a survey of the local laws before you book your trip. That way, you know what your parameters are. If you go to Colorado or Oregon or California, where cannabis has been legal longer, there are all kinds of activities and experiences that you can have—whether that’s yoga classes or hikes or spas.

“You never want to be disrespectful of someone’s choices. You can have debates about qualities of strains or growing styles or methods of use, but there’s no reason to put anyone down.”

We just got a golf course.

Oh my gosh—my favourite. I’m gunning for my country club here in Burlington to do a Cannabis Cup this year, and have a cannabis-themed golf tournament. But they haven’t bit on the idea yet.

That could be so fun!

It just makes sense. Cannabis gets you in your zone, keeps you calm under pressure, right?

What about finding cannabis-friendly accommodations?

It’s funny, even in places like Colorado, it’s still hard. You can book them through certain tour agencies. But you do want to find out what the rules are in advance so that you can respect the property and also enjoy your time. Especially in the United States, where we don’t have public consumption laws, you can’t just like walk through a park and smoke a joint without the potential of getting ticketed.

You could very well go on a cannabis vacation and not really feel like you have a comfortable place to just sit and enjoy a bowl.

Do you think having some set etiquette in place helps reduce the stigma around cannabis?

I think opening people up to the fact that this is a culture that is already more defined than they might realize helps to do that. This is really like a lot of what this book talks about, and illustrates, so that a broader audience can get a perspective on this community. It’s a place to start.

What’s the most important takeaway from the book?

Be good. But mostly the main goal of the book is help normalize and destigmatize. It’s also to really encourage people to not be judgmental about this topic. There’s a lot to learn. There are a lot of different reasons why people engage with cannabis. And so the goal is really to open it up—and to do that respectfully and considerately.

This interview has been edited and condensed.